Sunday, September 9, 2007

Illegal aliens: Read this

Below are some words of advice in the form of a Scotch blessing, delivered by a Dutch uncle. You won’t understand what I just wrote but neither will the culturally illiterate among us. Our schools have become love-fests of multicultural sensitivity at the expense of cultural literacy.
1) Regardless of what Presidents Calderon and Bush have led you to believe, you do not have a right to be here.
2) Ditto for the thoughts of Elvira Arellano.
3) The Statue of Liberty symbolizes an invitation to form a democracy, not immigration policy.
4) If you do not wish to be separated from your US-born children, don’t have any. If you have given birth, opt to take them home with you when you are deported to your homeland.
5) Some human beings are indeed illegal.
6) Auto insurance is required in our culture.
7) Health insurance is also the norm.
8) It is expected that you pay for the medical care you receive if you do not have insurance. The same goes for injuries and damage you cause to others.
9) If you’ve had two beers, call a cab.
10) We don’t fire guns into the air to celebrate.
11) We do not litter the streets. Find a garbage can.
12) If you are deported, consider it an act of compassion. In some countries you would be put in jail for a few years. Don’t come back.
13) We don’t care how much you paid to get here, or that you almost died in the desert, or that you paid $1,000 for your fake ID.
14) There are people in the world who live in far greater poverty than you did back home. The fact that we share a border doesn’t qualify you as the neediest.
15) It is rude to speak your own language when out in public or doing business. We speak English here. Deal with it.
16) Your protests swell the ranks of people who want you to leave.
17) You are creating social friction for your countrymen who came here legally.
18) Before sending money home make sure you are paying your own way here first. We are under no obligation to feed you, clothe you, house you, or heal you.
19) Speaking of housing…one house, one family. Repeat that until you have memorized it.
20) You are not entitled to Social Security benefits paid under a fraudulent card.
21) If any of this offends you, report to the nearest border station and we will arrange for you to leave. In some cases we will take you to the airport nearest your hometown. Remember, don’t come back; you didn’t like it here.

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