Thursday, July 19, 2007

Manure over the fence

I’m in trouble with my next-door neighbor, and I don’t think it’s right. Here’s what happened.

I bought a load of manure for my yard the other day. It was real primo manure, too. It wasn’t too dry and wasn’t too sticky. And it had a fine aroma, like good manure should.

Then the trouble starts. I bought too much. Since I had some left over I figured I’d just give it to my next-door neighbor. So I tossed it over the fence into his yard. I didn’t think anything of it until the police came knocking at my door. After all, who would mind receiving free manure? He didn’t have to pay for it. And heaven knows he needs it.

When I explained it to the cop, he questioned me. He said, “Did you ask your neighbor if he wanted the manure?” “Well, no. It was good manure. Why would I need to ask?”

“Did you tell him you were sending over some manure?” “No. He needs it for his flower gardens.”

“I don’t suppose you asked him where he wanted it?” “Naw. He’d figure it out once he saw it on his side of the fence.”

What is wrong with people these days? Here I do him a favor and he gets all upset. He just doesn’t understand. Manure is good and organic. It is cheaper than that chemical fertilizer he usually uses. Besides, this was a free gift from me to him. You can’t beat that.

Next time I’ll deliver it at night and hide it around his yard.


  1. That's a pretty funny story. If it happened to me I'd probably be a little confused but I wouldn't call the police over it. That's kind of extreme. I hope your neighbor is here legally. I guess he wouldn't call the police if otherwise.

  2. Well, QS, this little parable might need some interpretation.
    Alien rants is Mexico.
    His neighbor is the USA.
    The manure is ... well, figure it out.