The life of Riley (er, Rogelio)

Ah, to be illegal in the United States. Things are grand. You’ve got a judge in Pennsylvania who has granted you all the rights of the Constitution, knowing full well that you invaded (Munley).

You’ve got other judges in New Jersey who will let you out on bail because no one in the system is bright enough to figure out that you don’t speak English and you have a bogus Social Security number (the Carranza case).

Now, I’m checking out the local newspaper on-line this morning (Courier- News) and see a summary of the stories of the day. Story #4 in order of importance says that Gov Blagojevich has signed into law a bill forbidding employers to check on your immigration status. (Time to sell my stock in IDs-R-Us.)

And story #5 announces that $1.5 million in federal tax money is going to Northern Illinois University “to further enhance the education of non-native English-speaking pupils”.

Here are a couple of quotes from the professor who requested the money, Richard Orem:
"Children of these immigrants are learning English at a faster rate and losing their native tongues at a faster rate. There's no reason to force them into an English-only world."
"The more foundation students get in literacy skills in their own language, the more successful they'll be in transitioning into mainstream programs.”

If I can TRANSLATE what the good professor just said, it would be…They are learning English too quickly. We need to make sure they get a full five years in bilingual ed. Besides, western civilization has sinned against the world for too long. We must punish whitey and drive him out of leadership roles in our country. Did I mention that Thomas Jefferson fathered slave children? Did you know that Columbus brought disease, guns, and alcohol to the Native Americans? What we need is a salad bowl of cultures with each one clinging to his heritage and language. Don’t give an inch. Hang on to your past. Don’t give up a thing just because you are here. You are special.

Professor Orem needs to spend a summer in Iraq talking to Kurds, Sunnis, and Shiites. I’d support that grant.

So, Rogelio, you’ve got it good. Here’s the keys to the country. As they used to say in Miami, “Would the last American to leave please bring the flag.”