Just in case Obama wants any advice…
1) Fire Rahm Emanuel. He’s far too volatile. And you don’t need a Chief-of-Staff telling you, “You’re the President. You can do whatever you want.”
2) Fire David Axelrod. David can win you elections, but he knows nothing about governance.
3) Fire Valerie Jarrett. She’s like comfort food to you, but she’s not an advisor who will tell you what you need to hear.
4) Put Joe Biden on The Hill and keep an eye on him. He’s nowhere as good as Lyndon was for JFK, but he’ll have to do.
5) Fire Desiree Rogers. Like 1, 2, and 3, Desiree is a sign of Carteritis. You need savvy beltway operatives to work the street for you, not Chicago Machine hacks.
6) Remember the old saying, “Never pick a fight with a man who buys ink by the barrel”? Well, there’s a new one. “Never throw a blogger to the ground.”
7) Learn to communicate with Fox News. Their ratings are really quite high.
8) A “Date Certain” in Afghanistan was a bad idea. Don’t ever go there again.
9) Learn to admit when you are wrong and never hesitate to apologize.
10) Gibbs needs information and permission to share it. Giving him deniability isn’t fair to him or the nation. He looks like a fool. Just as you do not want to be worse than Jimmy Carter, Gibbs doesn’t want to be another Scott McClellan.
11) Your crisis management stinks! For example, if you dissect the crotch bomber fiasco you will see mixed messages from Napolitano, yourself, and Brennan that required significant backpedaling for ten days.
12) Jimmy Carter was blinded by human rights. Don’t be fooled into thinking that terrorists appreciate the mercy of the American justice system. Nor do Americans find it amusing that you are trying terrorists in our courts. You will rue the day you let Holder talk you into it.
13) One cannot govern by obeying the polls, but disregarding them is just as foolhardy. You clearly want to take America somewhere it does not want to go when it comes to health care reform and cap-and-trade.
14) There may be something to this Tea Party thing. After all, they filled the Mall. You need to find a better response to them than sending out people to call them homophobes, racists, tea baggers, birthers and rightwing whackjobs. The more you try to marginalize them through name-calling, the stronger they become.
15) Enough already with your theological affirmative action. It is OK to say the words, “Islamic extremist” now and then if the situation warrants it.
16) You cannot remain Mr. Secrets. Practice openness and transparency. You’d be surprised at the trust you receive in return.
17) Your shot across the bow to companies that hire illegal aliens was a good first move. The time has come to call your bets. Very public fines and lawsuits need to follow. Don’t be afraid to deport illegal aliens as well. A show of deterrence is required.
18) Call a truce in your war on the wealthy. We could use the jobs.
