Ellie Light EXPOSED

In an Alien Rants exclusive, we have obtained a copy of the letter to the editor sent by Ellie Light to the Podunk, BS Gazette. (BS is one of the 57 states.)

Here is the letter:


We did a forensic analysis of the back of the letter and determined that it was handled by someone who is missing the middle finger of their right hand:


Now, who do we know that fits that description?

Just kidding, folks. Besides, the literary style doesn't match Rahm's in the slightest.