It's not all serious

Here are a few news items from the immigration debate that are humorous.

For years the Minutemen have patrolled the highways of Chicago, helping stranded motorists. They are employees of the highway department and they cruise around changing tires, pouring a gallon of gas here and there, or jumping a dead battery.

Latino activists contacted them last year and demanded that they change their name and their uniforms, and repaint their trucks. It seems that when they would pull over to help an illegal alien, the driver would jump out of the truck in his uniform bearing an American flag and the word “Minuteman”. The illegal would look back at the truck with lights flashing and “Minutemen” on the door and run away! He thought those “vigilantes” were chasing him.

The response from the DOT was to get over it; they were not changing their name. (Good for them.)
- - - - -
The second tale is from Toys’R’Us. They had a contest for the first baby born in 2007. Expectant mothers filled out a card to enter the contest. The rules are familiar ones: Must be 18 or older and a legal resident.

It turns out that the first baby born was the child of an illegal alien from China. Toys’R’Us denied her the prize ($25,000) and awarded it to someone else. But there were protests and official complaints lodged so the store relented and gave the illegal alien her prize money. (Sell out.)
- - - - -
The third story is from a Spanish language radio station here in Chicago. A woman entered a 4th of July contest to win a Corvette. She won. The radio station then contacted her to get her Social Security Number, a requirement for all prizes over $500. You guessed it; she didn’t have one.

The radio station offered to give her a different car but she refused. She went into hiding for fear of deportation and filed suit against the radio station for breach of contract and emotional distress. (How do you go into hiding and file a lawsuit?)

The story is rich because this radio station is known for supporting illegal immigrants’ rights. One of their DJs is very vocal and is credited with helping assemble 400,000 marchers on May 1, 2006.
- - - - -
From the weird rights of illegals category, did you know that the ACLU is fighting the cataloging of DNA evidence taken from immigration violators, terrorist detainees, and other federal prisoners?
- - - - -
Or, how do you like this web seminar for university officials around the country: “Helping Undocumented Students Navigate the College Pipeline.” It includes fundraising programs, financial aid, and how to adjust your visa status.
- - - - -
Ken Burns, the documentary maker, is releasing “The War”, about WWII. The Congressional Hispanic Caucus has formed a committee to demand that Burns remake the documentary because it does not portray any Hispanic soldiers. He doesn’t say anything bad about Hispanics; he just chose four other settings that lacked Hispanics. I believe Burns and PBS are going to ignore the request. Stay tuned.
- - - - -
Did you know that Santo Toribio is the patron saint of illegal aliens? True story.
- - - - -
I have a doctored Miller Beer advertisement that pictures a group of Banditos and says, “Visas? We don’t need no stinking visas!" It seems that Miller Brewing paid $30,000 to support a protest march by illegal aliens. Oops!
- - - - -
Did you know that Illinois has an I-Loan program that helps illegal aliens buy homes by loaning them money so they don’t get fleeced by predatory lenders? No Social Security Number required.
- - - - -
How about the National Employment Law Project and the ACLU who petitioned the federal government on behalf of illegal aliens because they are not adequately protected in the workplace? Their rights are being violated!
- - - - -
A friend gave me this one:

A Somali arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, “Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education.”

The passerby says, “You are mistaken. I am Mexican.”

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in America!”

The person says, “I not American. I Vietnamese.”

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand, and says, “Thank you for the wonderful America!”

That person puts up his hand and says, “I am from the Middle East. I am not American!”

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, “Are you an American?”

She says, “No, I am from Africa.”

Puzzled, he asks her, “Where are all the Americans?”

The African lady checks her watch and says… “Probably at work.”

- - - - - -